Going Somewhere to Nowhere

Overall, 2011 has been the toughest year for me. It was okay at first, from January to March, but as the year reached April, everything made a 360-degree spin. I was questioning God at first, why did this have to happen? Why me? Why us? Why her? It took me a lot of time to understand and to finally accept reality. We’re all humans anyway, we’re bound to get there. But why? Until now I still ask myself that question, I think I will never be able to accept it wholly but I try to. I know you don’t understand me now, and maybe you never will because I got myself to thinking that I will never let anyone know about this problem that I’m having. Anyway, it’s not your problem so you don’t have to know. Mehehe.

This year I realized that I have the best people around me, I have the best family, the best set of friends and the best God that anyone could ever have. I went from going somewhere to nowhere, I took entrance exams on different schools, I made the hardest decision in my life by far, I felt loved by the people around me, I felt valued, I flunked tests consecutively, I felt alone, I felt strong and weak at the same time, I felt like I was slowly getting consumed by life, I felt happy and sad, excited and nervous, determined but still doubting, all at the same time. I ask myself is this even possible? Yes, it is. And I didn’t know that, these emotions struck me so fast that I didn’t get the chance to prevent myself from getting hit.

But I figured all these things will only make me stronger and tougher. I have been through a lot. I learned how to smile despite the never ending struggles, I learned that life must go on, and that it does not stop for anybody. I learned that crying is okay once in awhile, really cleans my eyes. Mehehe. I learned how to break the rules, how to have fun, how to live.

Years from now I will look back at this and tell myself that these things that I typed in just now served as a lesson to me, which brought me to (hopefully) success. 

Let’s all wake up tomorrow to a New Year, full of blessings and with a heart full of happiness and hope! 

Sorry kung hindi masyadong organized yung pictures. My year basically consisted of school, friends and of course my family and the Lord. Maagang entry kasi basta.  Happy New Year again!